All that was never said
by linesandwords
Summary: Post season 5 finale and the aftermath of their breakup. Alternates between Dan and Blair's POV.
1. Chapter 1

_To the Dair fandom, we can't just give up because of a setback. Furthermore, we can't start harassing the writers, stop watching, or debase ourselves to the Chair fans' level. we must regroup. I honestly do not think that the way the finale ended was clear at all - Blair's e-mails to Dan make the issue open ended. Nothing is set in stone. _

_This is a Chapter 1 from Blair's POV post finale Dair fic. Rated Nc 17_

I get through the summer by telling myself that what Dan and I had was meant to be temporary. Real, true, and beautiful, but meant to be brief. An escape from my responsibilities and rule over my domain—the cliche affair rich medicated middle aged women have with their pool boy. I do miss him though, it hurts that he hasn't answered any of my calls or emails. Well actually scratch that, he did once.

It was 3 weeks into the summer and 2 weeks since he had left for Italy with Georgina. –yeah, to say I was shocked when I saw the GG blast of the two of them landing in Rome is an understatement. But then again, I know Dan and G had a thing back freshman year at NYU, I just never thought it was that serious. Though, to be fair, He and I never really talked about our exes together, it was a sore subject.

Anyway I digress. At the beginning of the summer, I called him whenever I missed him and just felt an overwhelming desire to make amends. I would get these urges to make things right. To make them go back to the way before everything got so screwed up. I really wanted my best friend back. So as I usually did I called him, however unlike normally he answered. I wasn't expecting him to but he did.

He was drunk and he obviously had company- I could hear a woman's voice saying sweet nothings in Italian. I could also hear Georgina and what sounded like music in the background. They were no doubt out on the town living it up on a Thursday night. I think Dan answered just to make me feel like shit. To let me know that he was having fun, moving on, and meeting new people. Letting me know that he didn't miss me. After that incident I didn't try to contact him for a month.

He can try to fool me but I know. I know that if he were willing to hurt me (which trust me that phone call did) then I knew that he was still hurting and that he was just acting out. He knew that he won that round too, the same way I knew it.

To be fair, I never meant to hurt him. Looking back on my relationship with him, I don't think I ever mistreated him (well not more than I usually did). We worked well together, we truly were a team. When he asked me if I loved him however I knew I didn't. Well that's not entirely true; I loved him I just wasn't head over heels in love with him. However, I loved him enough to know that I didn't want to lie to him. Honesty is always the best policy (Serena could learn a lot about that).

If he wouldn't have pressed me about the "I love you" incident, we would probably still be together. It is because I knew he wasn't going to let it go. Furthermore, it's because he deserves better. He deserves to be with a good girl, with the untainted Ms. Carr's of the world, with the Vanessa Abrams' of the world, girls who are not jaded by all the glitz and glamour of the UES. He can appreciate and be content with never going to balls, to watching movies and eating pizza every night, and who can enjoy the simplicities offered in such a safe and secure person such as Dan.

I mean no matter how horrible Chuck and I have treated each other in the past; it is true that he and I share this darkness. A darkness that Dan just can't understand, a darkness he should never ever even have to understand. He's too good for that.

Anyway, he only answered one of my calls over the summer, but he did call me once. I think it was a mistake...at least that's what I like to tell myself. He once again sounded inebriated and he was once again with some girl (I could hear her giggles and murmurs in the background). To be honest, I doubt she spoke English considering what he was telling me while he was undoubtedly touching her. I can't quite remember the conversation but it went something along the lines "You know Blair, sometimes when I'm fucking Elena I like to think it is you, I touch her just the way you used to like it, but then I remember what kind of person you are and I almost go limp. So thanks for leaving me, truly from the bottom of my heart. I deserve so much better."

Obviously, after that I was furious with him. Who the hell did hum-drum Humphrey think he was? But I can't deny, he does deserve better, so now that the summer is over, I'm anticipating the next time I run into him. I know that that is inevitable. He has been spotted back in the city in and out of publishing houses. And I'm sure I'm bound to run into him at various cultural centers or at some UES event. I keep running different scenarios about how it will be the moment we share our first look across a room, or what the first word we will exchange to each other.

Next chapter is from Dan's POV

Please review : )


	2. Chapter 2

Dan's POV:

I know I'm unhealthy. The amount of resentment I have towards the UES consumes my every thought. Well actually that's not entirely true _she_ consumes my every thought. It doesn't matter how much I try to escape my feelings, I cannot escape her. Every modicum of free time is spent on her, on my thoughts of her. And I have a lot of free time; trust me I'm on a writer's retreat.

After getting dumped I knew there was only one person who could fill up Blair's spot on the plane. After kicking Serena out the loft, I immediately called and asked Georgina to come with me to help me write the book about the UES I should have written the first time. Furthermore, and I know this sounds absolutely insane, but she's the only one I can trust. How pathetic is that. No, I'm not saying she's an angel or that she has turned good, what I am saying is I know what to expect from her. There are no surprises.

The first couple of weeks after our break up _she_ would call me constantly. There were never any distinct expected times, the hours were always pretty sporadic. I'm guessing it's whenever she allowed herself to feel guilt about how she treated me. To think I dedicated so much of myself to her, made myself constantly available, and then she just fucking trashed me as if I were her last season Chanel booties. I'm sure she'll have a new "cater-waiter" in no time to fulfill her pangs of loneliness. The UES' equivalent to a pool-boy I suppose. That's what gets her off, being abused and hurt.

I never even have to ask her why she chose chuck; I was too nice.

I don't even care if I'm being irrational, to the point where my anger consumes me. The only catharsis available to me is writing—and most of the time its shit: blah blah blah boy meets girl, girl already has prince, boy gets kicked to the side, blah blah blah. It's always the same drabble.

Though, at the end of the day, I can only blame myself really. Yes, it's too difficult to let go and I can't, but even if I were given the option I wouldn't. I'm not ready to move on just yet. I mean no matter how much I hate the way she treated me, she wasn't _that_ bad. And, as a most interesting development this summer, I can now unfortunately relate to her darkside. She brought mine out, the same way Chuck brought hers out. I guess everyone has one; it is just a matter of getting one's heart beat to a bloody pulp.

Anyway, at first, I spend most of my days moping around Rome, trying to enjoy the culture but everything tastes bitter and leaves a bad aftertaste in my mouth. One night, Georgina gets so sick and tired of seeing me bumming around; she takes me out to this trendy bar. The moment I started drinking I felt better. I allowed myself to reconsider what I had done with Serena.

Actually, it is that night that I realized that I too had a darkside and that I wasn't any better than Chuck or Blair. That yes, I wanted to escape the pain from the breakup with Blair, but I also wanted to hit her where it hurt most. Make her feel just as bad as I did even if it were only for second. And from what I'd heard, there's nothing worse than sleeping with the best friend, right?

Obviously the night of the divorce party I was just acting on instinct, I hadn't really thought it through. However the instant I allowed myself to look back it was undeniable—no wonder I had fallen so hard for Blair, we were more similar than I would ever want to admit. And no wonder I was once amicable with Chuck despite all his horrible tendencies.

Furthermore, I realized that the only reason I got mad at Serena was not because we slept together, it was because Blair hadn't chosen yet. I _cheated_ on her. Maybe I would've tried to reconnect and try again with Serena if she hadn't been such a conniving bitch.

Also, and even though I'm 99.9% that Blair does not have a clue about what happened with Serena, I can't help but wonder if it did. I mean her minions were all over the Shepard's divorce party. They could have easily seen us slip out of the room and unintentionally swayed Blair's decision in one way or the other. Oh who am I kidding? Of course they would have done that intentionally. What's more is the fact that Serena would want to hurt Blair doesn't even surprise me, but I'm irked nonetheless. Irked that for someone whom claims to love me so much would want to sabotage me. Irked that she complains she's alone yet acts like a self centered spoiled brat. Oh wait, then again it's not acting if she is one.

So besides embracing the fact I had darkside at that bar, I also met some Italian girl. I don't remember her name and it doesn't even matter. It was kinda like my summer interning with Jermiah Harris. I used these women and I didn't even care or pretend to. I feel closer to Chuck than I'd like to admit. I don't understand why women love this arrogant disinterested attitude more commonly known as "the bad boy attitude", but it seems to work. Everytime.

Of course I got sick of it and myself so after 9 days of womanizing, I finally settled with one steady. I continued to go out and partying with Georgina, but now I was already "taken". One night when I was out with them, I actually answered one of Blair's phone calls on a whim. It was a Thursday night. Elena my Italian something was whispering sweet nothings to me in my ear—purring. I could hear Blair's sadness over the phone. She didn't have to say anything. She knew that I knew, but I also knew that she knew. We were both still hurting; I could just hurt her more. And I did.

I felt extremely guilty, I wanted to comfort her and tell her everything was going to be ok. Tell her that I understand why she chose Chuck, tell her that sometimes stories don't have the perfect ending. That we at least still have each other. That our love transcends cliché labels such a boyfriend/girlfriend and that we don't have to be together to be together.

Of course I have too much pride for that. I'm honest enough with myself to know I'm a self-righteous prick. So I acted out to subdue the guilt, just like 5 year old. But instead of pulling her hair and saying that girls are gross, I called her and made her feel even worse. I used Elena to do so of course. I told E that it had always been a fantasy of mine to talk to one of my book editors while sleeping with a girl and she unsurprisinglyagreed. I mean, let's face it, I met her through Georgina. So while I'm 3 fingers deep in her and she wraps her mouth around me I call Blair. Just as Elena is about to lower herself onto my mouth, Blair answers as I knew she would.

I tell her horrible things. Things I'm too ashamed to repeat. But let's just say that I went limp in Elena's mouth. After that Blair stopped trying to contact me. I know I'm inevitably going to run into her again in NY. I mean it may be one of the biggest cities in the world, but it's still a tiny island. We can thank modern rational architecture for that.

The fact is that despite and in spite of everything I know that the moment I see her, all my feelings are going to come rushing to the surface. I know that all she'll need to do is look my way, roll her eyes, say Humphrey with such disdain and I'll be at her feet again. I probably still am, but whatever.

She holds a power over me, but I'm discovering that I may hold one over her as well, because I'm beginning to understand her better.

I didn't have to wait long to run into her. It happened my second week back in the city. Alessandra forced me to go to a charity event for publicity and needless to say, things quickly escalated…

A Note: I have an idea of where im going with this, try making guesses in the reviews ; )


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: I'm going to be slowing down my updates for 2 reasons: 1) well I just "moved" so I can't access the internet as easily as before and 2) I don't have a beta and I LOATHE editing. But Im going to _try_ spending time editing…emphasis on the try…

Blair's POV:

Anyway, I didn't have to wait long. After being back in NY for 4 days, we ran into each other at the newly reunited Bass' charity event, which was being held in order to raise money to furnish schools with new books and resources. Dan's publishing house was partnering in the event as providers of the books and I'm sure they twisted his arm to get him there. Honestly, that was the only place I would have never imagined him being considering the Bass' and the Humphrey's family history, but then again he always did have that uncanny ability to surprise me.

At first I saw him from afar. I was standing with Chuck and Jack greeting other socialites, Chuck had his hand on my lower back guiding me through the room—very much in control. That night was a big night for him, he was trying to rally potential allies in the war against his father. Jack was being a pervert as usual hitting on anything 14 and above. The conversation was making me nauseous. I felt small and infantile amongst them. I wanted to get away but couldn't.

Chuck must have noticed my distraction when I stopped contributing to a conversation about the benefits of the new anti-ageing cream that Estee Lauder had recently released. He must have seen me staring at Dan across the room, because he firmly grasped my wrist and tightened his grip as to emphasis his harsh whispers: that under no circumstances was I to speak to him.

I was furious. I was furious at his words, I was furious at my cowardice, I was furious at everyone and everything. The worst part is I don't even blame Chuck. I've always known how Chuck reacts to competition, but Dan is not competition—he is in a different game. Chuck knows that where Dan comes into play, the rules change entirely. I know that if I were in Chuck's position I would react in the same possessive and utterly unhealthy way.

In as about the most defiance I could muster, and even though Chuck had me physically stationed at his side, I still had the power and control over my thoughts. So I let my thoughts, mind, and eyes wonder to Dan. Now don't forget, I'm a born and bred UESer where manners are in my second nature. I would only permit myself to glance in Dan's direction when I knew for a fact he wasn't looking my way. I would never be caught staring.

The small glimpses I was getting of Dan made my urge to go to him even greater. He looked good, tan, and he had cut his hair. He was a little on the thin side and from a distance I could tell he was exhausted and annoyed; the latter most likely due to the fact that he was at this event. Even I was having trouble containing my boredom.

The moment Chuck got distracted with some old couple on the board of Bass industries, I slipped away. I felt too confined. I went to the bathroom to freshen up and in order to catch a breath away from the stares, the fake smiles, and the acting. As I walked in I was met face to face with Lily.

It's during these moments that no matter how off the rails I thing I have gone, I can still thank the higher heavens for having never stooped as low as Lily. I mean she has really lost it. 5 marriages, 2 kids who can't stand her, imprisoning her own sister, driving her mother to disown her, and being put on house arrest for sending an innocent man to prison in order to save her reputation is a prime example for hitting rock bottom. But let's face it around the UES it's just another Sunday.

Of course, she and I made small talk. I found out that Serena has gone missing and that Lily hasn't heard a word from her since the beginning of the summer. She also tells me that she's glad that Dan came to this event even though she and Rufus haven't spoken since the finalization of the annulment. I wonder if she didn't get the memo about me and Dan. I don't see any other reason for her to bring him up to me unless she's deliberately trying to make me uncomfortable. I wouldn't even put that passed her.

Either way, the entire time I'm talking to her I feel like gagging. I'm disgusted by every fake sentiment radiating from her. She is so transparent. Her motives are disgusting.

I quickly made an excuse and jolted out of there. All I could here was Lily's voice yelling after me asking me if I was ok. I headed straight for the balcony, where I knew I would be alone and able to get some fresh air.

The air felt cool on my face. The pressure of being surrounded by Chuck, pervy Jack who had been hinting at a threesome with is nephew the entire night, and Dan another man whom I had been with was too much.

Oddly enough, it took me about 3 minutes to realize I wasn't alone on the balcony. Damien was there smoking a joint. To say I was not surprised is to say the least. I had thought that he had been banned from the UES and relegated to Belgium for the rest of his life, but obviously not.

He approached me:

"long time no talk sweet cheeks"

"You're disgusting. Please ignore me and ill return the favor."

"Ah you're clearly having a rough night considering your more than usual acerbic tongue. What is it? Perhaps the fact that all the people in that room are as real as Mrs. Jensen's D cups? Either way maybe we can try to alleviate each other's pain? What you say, wanna ditch this place?"

"You cannot be serious. Even though your analysis of the situation is unusually correct, there is no way in hell I would go from one hell to an even worse hell."

"No _you_ cannot be serious. Look at you, you are ready to jump off this balcony. Why are you so insistent on torturing yourself? And if being miserable makes you happy, I can also satisfy that desire, trust me I have everything you need"

The entire time he was talking to me, he kept puffing on his joint. As he finished saying the last part he started pulling out pills, they looked oddly familiar. I recognized some that my mother used to take in order to kill her pain. It was tempting, but before I could even formulate a response, Damien and I heard a tinkering cacophony travelling across the ball room and on to the balcony.

When I arrived inside I saw Bart Bass being helped back up and Dan being escorted out. I could see Chuck following Dan in the background and I tried to catch up to him to stop what I knew was inevitably going to occur. The moment Dan was thrown out on his face in the back alley, Chuck followed suit, jumping on him.

They were full out fighting—like wild belligerent animals.

The entire time I was yelling and begging them to separate, I even tried reasoning. Nothing took. Of course, Damien was laughing at the entire thing cheering one or the other on with salacious commentary.

I still to this day don't know what happened. Gossip Girl was deliberately obscure with her blast and Chuck refused to disclose anything to me the next day. I don't even know how the fight ended. I left. I couldn't stand it anymore.

Unreliable Damien later told me that they were both stopped by the event's security and put into separate cabs after threatening to call the police on both of them. Damien also told me that he filmed it and sent it into Gossip Girl but for some reason she never posted it. So either he's lying or Gossip Girl is planning something big.

That night was probably one of the worst nights of my life. Trust me, I've known depression, I've fought with bulimia, and I've been dealing with insecurities and low self esteem issues my entire life. But that night takes that cake.

I recognized something that night that I had made myself promise to prevent at all costs. It happened so swiftly and with such celerity that I'm positive Damien completely missed it. There, for a millisecond, when Dan had momentarily gained the upper hand against Chuck and had delivered a big blow. He turned to me and smiled. He smirked at me showing me his bloody teeth. He started laughing and threw me one last glance before throwing himself back at Chuck.

In that moment I knew. So I turn and ran as fast I could away from them both.

The Dan that I had fallen in love with, the self-righteous, moral, good hearted, Samaritan was gone. And there was no one to blame except myself.

I cried myself to sleep that night after drinking an entire bottle of whiskey and after puking for 4 hours.

Next Chapter Dan's POV.


	4. Chapter 4

Dan's POV:

Fucking GG. The moment I landed back in the city, there were pictures of me all over her site. She even created a combined Dan and Blair spotted map, so people could know at all times how far away from each other we were. How thoughtful, saving UES the time of one more mouse click.

Everytime I set foot onto Manhattan my phone blew up. –and not because of GG blasts, I of course disabled them, but because of people who had posted my phone number on the freakin comments page. Strangers actually had the nerve of contacting me and asking if I was looking for Blair. One of the calls I got was from one of the girls whom had once approached Serena and I in the park years ago. I know this because she actually introduced her as "the mini-blair of my junior year" and proceeded to tell me how inadequate I was. Clearly she had now completed her development into a full Blair, bitch and all.

As I was considering entering the nearest Verizon store and changing my number, Alessandra called me "Dan, I just submitted your new novel for review, the board's gonna love it. Trust me, it's gonna be a hit. However in order to make sure that there are no surprises I think you should come with me tomorrow night to a charity event the board is hosting. Its gonna be a nice quiet scene, all you have to do is chat them up a bit and then all will be settled and…"

I knew something was up the moment she kept going on and on, rambling about how great it was going to be and how excited she was "Alessandra, whats going on? And don't tell me nothing, you're rambling and overly justifying; what is it?

"Well Dan, its co hosted by the newly reunited Basses. Now I know it's not the best working circumstances but you're going to have to see Blair sooner or later and remember if you want the proper amount of publicity and the board's approval for your book you have to attend."

"Hell fucking No"

"Now Dan just hear me out ok? this is the best way to get the board on your side. Introducing them to the living version of your characters, giving them even more insight into the dynamics of the UES, they are going to love it. I promise, you don't have to be there for long. When I spoke to Mrs. Bass earlier when finalizing the event's details, she personally asked for you to be there. Obviously whatever issues she has with your father have not been transferred onto you."

"Alessandra, have you ever heard of a little thing called loyalty, and besides that I don't want to be in a 10 miles radius of Chuck and Blair"

"Dan firstly, this isn't an issue about loyalty, it's an issue of the Basses have great influence with the publishing review board, she hasn't _yet_ transferred her issues with your father onto you, we have to keep it that way. We don't want her badmouthing you at the event because you unintentionally insulted her by not appearing. As for being in a 10 miles radius of Blair and Chuck, I'm not even sure they will be in attendance. Last I heard Bass jr. wasn't exactly on speaking terms with his father. Listen we'll go there for an hour tops then we can leave"

"Wow, you really have thought of everything haven't you. I guess you can rejoice in leaving me with no choice really"

Dan could hear Alessandra squealing on the other end "yes Dan thank you, trust me it will be well worth it, I'll send a car at 7 to pick you up. See you later and wear your Armani"

To say my day up to that point was shit was fair, but then it got a thousand times worse.

I felt like I was to forever be trapped with these people. No matter how long I stayed away, no matter how hard I tried to avoid the UES somewhere somehow they always managed to find their way back into my life. There was no escaping.

The day of the charity event went as well as I had expected. I mean I got about an hour of sleep the night before which is an hour more than I had hoped. The anticipation of seeing Blair was eating at me, my every thought was consumed by her. I kept picturing different scenarios of how our reunion would go. The best ones were her begging me to take her back in front of Chuck, telling me how much of a mistake she made, how she would do anything for me, that we should move to Canada together…yes clearly that was never going to happen. Even though these were my deepest desires, I still feel like that shouldn't be enough. She can't just assume that apologizing would make up for everything. Furthermore, I can't be pathetic enough to allow her that. I promise, I would hate myself if I ever let her off the hook that easily.

The car promptly picked me up at seven and we arrived at the Empire at 8 after having made a detour to pick Alessandra up. I made a beeline for the bar. I decided that I'd rather talk with the "help" until I was forced to network. The bar tenders were pretty cool. They were all college students trying to make money on the side in order to pay off their student loans. I downed one scotch off the bat and ordered another one. I wasn't planning on drinking this one that quickly, the first one was just to take the edge off. This one was more of a buffer. This way if people asked me if I wanted to share a drink with them, I could easily answer "maybe next one" with a fake smile.

No members of the board were there yet. Chuck and Jack made what I presume was a surprise appearance considering Bart's reaction around 8:30. Blair was still nowhere to be seen. I knew Nate wasn't coming because he was still out of town and oddly enough I saw Damien talking to a couple of suits around 8:30. I have no idea what he's still doing around.

Around 8:50 I caught a glimpse of Blair. She was across the room with Chuck and Jack. I have no idea when she arrived. She was being driven across the room by Chuck's expert hand on her lower back. The sudden urge to kick the shit of him came back in full force. She looked absolutely miserable, but that was probably just my wishful thinking. Why would she go back to Chuck if it were to be unhappy?

At that point I had to divert my eyes cause I knew she was about to look my way. She was scanning the room and her head was quickly turning in my direction. I quickly downed the rest of my second scotch and called one of the bar tenders over for another one. two in one hour wasn't that bad.

Alessandra came to me at that point and started escorting me around the room, introducing me to Mr. and Mrs. so and so. At one point I caught a glimpse of Blair walking quickly out on to the balcony. She had tears in her eyes. I was about to throw all my resolutions away and go to her but was stopped by Alessandra who pointed to Bart who was headed in my direction. Chuck was with Jack nearby.

I could tell by the look in Chuck's eye that he had seen what I was about to do. He was daring me to make my next move. Unfortunately our little staring contest was cut short as Bart starting making small talk with Alessandra and then with me. He went on and on about how great of a cause this was all for and then said how happy he was that we could attend. He pulled Alessandra in for a kiss on the cheek and then he pulled me in for a manly hug. As he was pulling away, he softly said in my ear "tell your father that Lily and I send our regards and hope he will soon be able to find employment. Have him call me if he needs any help. Just please tell him no groveling." He then graciously blessed me with the famous Bass smirk.

Unfuckingbelievable. He actually started laughing at the expression on my face.

Chuck chose that brilliant moment to come up to me. He proceeded to say hello to Alessandra then told me that he was surprised to see me there. "I didn't think you could maintain a social calendar considering how poorly the Humphreys keep track of their affairs… and women. Maybe you came here to ask for some tips on how to network and satisfy a woman"

Next thing I knew Chuck was on the floor and Bart was on the receiving end of my fist. Security quickly grabbed me and Chuck as he was readily back on his feet and ready to brawl. I was furious. Fucking security threw me on my face next to the dumpster out back and Chuck whom had followed proceeded to jump on me.

Amidst the chaos, I could hear Blair's voice begging us to stop. I have no idea when she arrived on the scene. Damien was there too laughing. Blair's voice just made me even more determined to hurt Chuck and I could tell it was impacting him in the same way. The source of both our misery. I landed one good punch and turned to Blair. The look on her face was heartbreaking but I covered it up by laughing maniacally. This night had turned better than expected.

Chuck and I were soon separated. Blair was already gone at that point. Damien also gave me his number and told me that whenever I was looking to have a good time or if I was looking for a new crowd I should just shoot him a text.

I dismissed him with a roll of my eyes.

As I was getting ready to go to bed, I noticed blood all over my face. I was unrecognizable. The entire night made me absolutely ashamed of myself.

The urge to call Blair that night was the greatest it had been so we had broken up. I threw my phone into the toilet and drank everything I could find around the loft in order to dull any feelings in me.

Next chapter Dan and Blair are finally reunited : ) please review!


	5. Chapter 5

WARNING Chuck/Blair in this chapter, but don't worry I make up for it largely with some DAIR ;)

Blair's POV:

Chuck won't let up. Ever since the event a fortnight ago he keeps making snide comments about Dan, testing my patience. He wants to break me, make me vulnerable.

He wants to make me regret ever loving Dan. He wants me to feel ashamed of myself.

What Chuck doesn't understand is that I could never stop loving Dan. I could never feel ashamed of feeling free and liberated—of being happy. However, like Hilary and all the other powerful females I look up to, I realize that I can't have everything. I choose to be powerful in lieu of a simple girl in a normal relationship. I'm sacrificing holding hands and watching movies for ambition. Don't misunderstand me; I do love Chuck as well. He appeals to a completely different side of my femininity. As much as I loved being happy and feeling secure with Dan, I also love the danger that comes from being with Chuck. it gives me an adrenaline high—its addictive these games we play.

I want to know how far I can go.

However, while I am willing to completely sacrifice my happiness for my other desires, I am not willing to sacrifice the happiness of other people I care about. I'm worried about Dan. I entrapped him in this messy web and I thought I could make it alright but clearly he is still in too deep.

It was never my intention to make him fall for me and I surely never expected to fall for him. I thought that if I made a quick amputation then he would be able to heal quicker. Clearly that is not what happened. I mean getting into a full on brawl with Chuck is surprising but what was even more astonishing was the complete look of indifference on his face.

I wanted to protect Dan from the dark side, but all I have done is immerse him in it.

It is interesting really to see how Chuck's and I's relationship evolved. Physically as well as emotionally. I mean the sex is violent, but his eyes aren't. I can see that behind all Chucks sadism there's just a little boy waiting to be loved. A couple of nights ago I tried to use that moment of vulnerability to turn it into a moment of shared heightened awareness. Needless to say that was a huge faux pas and a mistake I will never make again. Just recalling it makes me sick. All you need to know is that Chuck hates being vulnerable and he hates other people recognizing that even more.

We haven't touched each other since that night three days ago. That's the longest it's been since we got back together at the beginning of the summer. We usually enjoy each other at _least_ once every two days. Sex is without a doubt the foundation of our relationship.

On another note, Serena is still missing. Of course, Georgina, being the kind benevolent being that she is, is hosting a party in Serena's honor tonight entitled "To she who shall not come" – needless to say I thoroughly enjoyed getting the invite. It's devious and brilliant Georgina at her best. It's going to force everyone to come in order to not be the "she" and Its going to force those who already know who it is about to show whether they truly care enough to bother coming or not. The flip side is that if a person really does care they would find the mere concept of the party disgusting, but would still have to show up in order to defend her honor. In short, everyone who matters is expected at the party.

Yeah, definitely Georgina at her finest.

I've decided to make the most of the night. I still can't believe how S treated me. Who the hell does she think she is? Dan's owner? Talking as if I had stole Dan from her, she hasn't evolved at all since she was 14. She doesn't understand that she can't have own everything and people.

Chuck told me that he was planning on going too if he can get out of his business meeting early but that I shouldn't wait for him. Therefore my minions will have to do.

That and Damien came by my apartment this afternoon offering to escort me. I of course refused. I don't know what kind of twisted game he is playing by himself but I already have enough to deal with without having to wonder what kind of malevolent plans he has lined up. He kept insisting that I at least grant him the honor of joining the minion escort party. I said no to that as well, but after he insisted for so long I told him he can stand 5 feet behind me when I make my entrance, that seemed to please him enough.

The party is in full swing. I wore my beautiful YSL chain with my new Chanel dress and 6 inch Louboutins, everyone has been raving about my outfit all night. I got rid of Damien after the first ten minutes; he kept interrupting every conversation I engaged in. Apparently, he and Georgina have some kind of shared past and wasn't invited. I guess that explains why he needed me to bring him. He is now promoting his own after party. I told him I'd make an appearance if stopped acting like a clingy school girl.

I've also been waiting for chuck's arrival all night. He texted me that his meeting was running late, I just didn't think it would be _this_ late. The party started over an hour ago.

Dan, of course, has been avoiding me like the plague the minute I stepped in here. I can't be bothered at the moment. I have to accept the fact that I broke his heart and that he doesn't want me in his life. I'm getting what I deserve. I am a bitch, but I'm not bitch enough to play with his feelings and chase after him. This summer was different, I felt guilty. But after seeing him with Chuck, seeing his true feelings towards me during the fight made me realize that the best thing for Dan is to let me go. Yeah it bothers me that he is currently flirting with the help, but that's where Dan belongs.

The way I prepped for seeing him tonight was 1) avoid him at all costs 2) if unavoidable act like spoiled UES brat he used to despise when he dated S junior year.

As of now option number 1 has been working perfectly and I couldn't be more content.

A bus boy walks nearby and I catch a flute filled to the brim. It goes down smoothly taking away the edge of the night. Being fake takes a lot of energy out of a person. This night is really starting to take its toll on me and waiting for chuck is embarrassing.

Georgina rolls by wasted as per usual. Starts rambling on and on about how great her party is and how she is outraged by the fact that Damien found a way to crash her party. I couldn't help but smile when she said this. She is literally falling all over herself. She goes on for another 5 minutes about some guy who broke the bathroom toilet and how the party is running low on ice and just as I am about to completely zone out with a plastered pretend I am listening face she mentions her summer with Dan. I had made myself promise not to care but she is the one offering, so technically I am just being polite. Her sentences are all jumbled and every other word is slurred, but I make out certain key words such as mopping, random girls, more mopping, more girls, some funny story about her walking in on him naked in the shower and him falling in the tub out of embarrassment—I smiled after hearing that, it sounds just like him.

As Georgina goes on and on about her summer in Italy, my eyes can't help but drift towards Dan's side of the room. I mentally kick myself for breaking one of my resolves which was to not care, but let's be honest I suck at resolutions. Georgina is still rambling; I wonder if she even knows what she's saying at this point. Dan looks better than the last time I saw him, he looks rested—clean shaven and his had a haircut. He came dressed casually to this thing, and seems to be enjoying his conversation with some girl—different from last time I glanced his way. I then proceed to watch the girl spill her drink all over him. Classic move if I must say so myself, effective yet transparent and annoying. There are easier ways to get a person's clothes' off without staining them. He doesn't seem to care much though, about the clothes or the girl after that. He actually seems putt off. Odd, obviously Dan was interested in her before. Maybe I'm wrong and he does all of a sudden care about his L.L Bean shirts.

My attention is pulled away from the scene as I feel cool lips against my skin. I quickly turn around and discover Chuck standing behind me looking dapper and with a smirk on his face. I'm guessing his deal must have gone well and reignited his sex drive. He pulls me in for a long wet kiss. His hands roam across my back and he pulls me in even closer as he tugs on my hair. I unconsciously moan into his mouth as I feel something hard against my stomach. I pull away breathless and become aware of where we are, surrounded in this room with all these people. I feel a blush creep up my face. Chuck whispers breathlessly into my ear how much he needs me and I am just thankful that the room is dark and intimate.

Georgina starts yelling "you two should get a room" and chuck smartly responds "where's the closest one?" "second door down the hall on your left, have fun you two" she responds. I tell chuck I'll be there in a second, that I need to freshen up. I watch as he starts walking across the room amidst the throng of people dancing/grinding against each other. This truly is a SVDW party. She would have loved it. All types of substances and fluids are being shared, light is low, and I need another drink before rejoining Chuck.

I quickly down another flute of champagne and go to the bar to take a couple of shots. I'm starting to feel nice and at ease. I make my way across the room struggling to walk through all the people dancing. When I finally make it to the hallway, Damien intercepts me and reminds me of the promise I made him and offers me a sip of his drink. I once again refuse. As if knowing what I was thinking he takes one first declaring himself the official royal taster for the UES' queen and bows to me, before presenting the drink in its entirety to me. How could I refuse? I take the drink I make my way through the hallway filled with couples making out.

Two doors down the hall on the right, right? I finish my drink, toss the cup, and rush in quickly closing the door behind me only to be completely frozen a second later. I must have made a mistake because instead of finding a half naked chuck im staring at a half naked Dan Humphrey.

_This chapter is starting to get pretty long so ill end it here promise to update real soon! Please REVIEW! Next chapter def includes DAIR action and will be from Dan's POV._


	6. Chapter 6

Dan's POV:

Georgina came by the loft this afternoon begging me to come to some party she's hosting. It's the least I could do really after having her come to Italy with me—an UES party is not nearly as out of my way. She and I have actually become quite good friends; obviously spending a summer with a person reminiscing on past moments shared will do that. We bonded over our common hatred for Serena, how we were both happy that she never met Jenny (even G. admitted that would have spiraled out of control way too quickly) and over the fact that Chuck looks entirely ridiculous in his bow ties, well actually that was more me than her but she was nice enough to listen.

These past few days have actually been going pretty well. My face is now completely healed since the fight and after that night, after being utterly and completely disgusted with myself, I decided to take back control of my life. Every move I have made, every career decision has been about Blair or about avoiding Blair in some way shape or form even after she left me. It is time for her to stop ruling over my life. Her domain is vast enough to not include me as well.

Therefore, I gladly accepted to go to G's party. Avoiding Blair is only as difficult as I make it out to be. If I want to have fun, if I want to meet other people, then I should go and do just that. The fact that Blair is expected there is of no importance, nope none at all.

The Party is actually pretty nice. It is an UES party but not as uptight. People seem to actually be having fun—taking a walk on the wild side. This is def. a party Serena would have loved.

I make my way across the room, saying hi to a couple of people I know and others I just recognize. I feel at ease and light on my feet. I guess after being down in the dumps for months this is what feeling back to normal would be like. I get invited by a group of people I vaguely know to take shots with them and I gladly accept. After shot number 2, Georgina slides up next to me and announces that Blair has arrived alone. Of course she drawls out the alone part of her sentence trying to gauge my reaction. In all honesty there is no reaction on my end, I just smile slowly at Georgina and invite her to take some shots with me and this group of "friends". We have a good time reminiscing about Italy and the various people with whom we became friends with over the course of our summer there together, and we entertain our group with a couple of funny stories.

When Georgina runs off after some guy she used to know, I start scanning the room for potential hookups/single girls. How cliché I know, but hey I'm single, pretty good looking in my humble opinion and ready to mingle. I can't spend the rest of my days mopping around. Nearest to me is the bartender who appears to be struggling with her ice load. I go and offer her a hand and we start enjoying a short little convo of shared experiences in the catering business. While we hit it off nicely and I learn that she is indeed single, she unfortunately is not on the market. I'm a little disappointed, but she has just broken up with her boyfriend and isn't quite ready to start anything with someone new. I understand completely. It really is a frightening thing to put yourself out there after a disastrous relationship. But I don't want to live my life in fear any longer.

Not far is some girl I met while taking shots with the group I was just drinking with. When she sees me looking quite alone she approaches me and comes on quite strongly. I can tell just by looking at her that she is looking for a one night thing – no more and no less. And yes while I am a red blooded horny male, ever since Serena did what she did to me I can't stand girls who are like her. This girl could be mistaken for her twin. Leggy blond bombshell, fun, big smile, and wild – her hair is coiffed as if she had just had sex and everything about her screams I'm looking for a good time. Surprisingly she's not an idiot and her conversation isn't as inane as one could imagine from a pretty girl who has probably had everything handed to her. Still her mannerisms, personality, and looks are way too similar to Serena's for me to even consider leading this girl on. As Im about to put an end to this conversation, she proceeds to "accidentally" spill her drink all over my shirt. This is clear signal: "I want you naked and under me doing unspeakable things" and if I was interested I would have been flattered, but unfortunately for her I am not, I was far from interested to begin with and now I'm fucking pissed. You can fall for this type of shit from this type of girl only once in your life. The old saying "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" comes to mind.

Anyway, to make things worse I spot Chuck make his grand entrance into the party despite the dim lighting. He immediately takes Blair into his arms and embraces her, touching her everywhere and for all to see. A surge of anger, jealousy and rage courses its way through me and I close my fists feeling my nails dig into my palms.

I go by the bar, summon the cute bartender and order a full bottle and walk off towards a room down the hall in order to dry off and get wasted in the most depressingly miserable fashion.

No matter how much I hyped myself up for the night, no matter how much I told myself that I didn't care about Blair or Chuck or about being used like an old forgotten rag, I guess that seeing them together displaying their love for all to see in the middle of this dingy ass party for still hurts as hell and just proves that I was fooling myself.

It makes me long for Blair, makes me really long for her. Whenever I let myself miss her, I have these aches, It feels as if a piece of me is missing. I know that sounds so dramatic and cliché but it is true nonetheless. I remember the little looks she would send my way, the way she would flip her hair, the way she would stretch over in the morning, straddle me and take all of me in her, slowly enveloping every inch inside her. She would arch her back a little bit, lean her hands on my thighs, and set the pace, taking both of us higher and higher.

The problem I have with Blair is that i think of her as perfect. In my opinion her imperfections are perfect, even her snobbery, her elitism, her vision of the world makes her her and is therefore perfect. Everything I hated about Serena I love in Blair.

I chug over half the bottle of wine in one swig and I feel a heady rush in my body. I finally stumble into a room which Im hoping is empty and thankfully it is.

My thoughts from earlier have got me feeling frustrated. I finish off the bottle of wine and I start feeling really drunk. Drinking a bottle on my own in less than 30 minutes isn't the brightest of decisions but I don't regret it. It makes cleaning this wine stained shirt a lot less annoying. My vision is fuzzy, my chest feels sticky, and here I am standing in this tiny bathroom scrubbing water onto this shirt which is probably not even worth it. Fuck it.

I let myself get carried away in my thoughts again. Unfortunately my drunkenness has turned my thoughts into petty miserable ones. i find myself cursing out every curly brunette I know and then I start damning every beautiful blond I know. Then I curse both of them together. Blair and I once had a running joke how I couldn't hate Serena and how she couldn't hate chuck because they were both completely and utterly miserable. We always thought they were going to end up together. Weird but true. Whenever we would mention this we would just laugh till tears spilled out of our eyes and our stomachs hurt. I would then kiss away her tears, lean between her open legs, and taste her until she was too incoherent to even remember Chuck's existence. She tastes so sweet. I miss her all of her.

Every night before going to sleep I dream about her. Dream about her begging me to take her back, me playing hard to get because of a lost sense of pride and dignity, and finally "succumbing" to my true desires by allowing her back into my life in a most memorable fashion. But every morning I wake up and know that it was just a dream, I spot the empty spot in bed, and my will to resist her isn't that big. I mean who gives a shit about pride when you already admitted to yourself that you are fucking in love with the girl of your nightmares.

I walk out of the room and lay my shirt out on the back of a chair. My pants feel tight. I'm frustrated, angry, and the furthest thing from happy.

I try readjusting myself but thinking of Blair always does things to me. I start undoing the button of my pants in order to properly rearrange myself when I hear through the blaring music a shuffling outside the door and a girl stumble her way inside. As I am about to tell her that the room is occupied, said girl lifts her head up and surprise surprise it is none other than Blair Waldorf.

She looks pretty wasted, as wasted as I am if not more. Her face registers utter shock, disappointment, and annoyance. Wow she could at least pretend to be happy to see me. She starts stumbling forward on her feet, evident that she can't really stand straight. As she is fumbling trying to find in the darkness a place to lean on I don't know what to say. I feel exposed with my shirt off and my pants half undone. She looks perfect as per usual. So I just stand there feeling weak and timid. Fuck, im better than this. I open my mouth to say something im not sure what, but she doesn't wait to hear it.

She quickly walks by me into the bathroom slamming the door shut behind her. I can hear her puking her guts out. Outside in the hallway I hear Chuck's voice asking people if they know were Blair is.

I'm stuck to my spot. I dont know what to do, I'm sure the last thing she wants is for me to go to her, and I cant go out because if there is one person I do not want to see is Chuck. So here I am shirtless, feeling like a complete utter asshole, and as clueless as a three year old.

Just another typical day in the life of Dan Humphrey.

_Please review I should be updating again later today or tomorrow!_


	7. Chapter 7

Hey Guys here's a new update. Had to take a moment to think in what direction I wanted to take the story. Please review as it helps me along the way. K enjoy!

Dan's POV:

My throat is rough and dry and I can feel dried drool on the side of my lip. I drag my arm out from under me wipe away at it and slowly open my eyes. My head hurts and my vision is blurry. I take a couple of seconds to rub my eyes out and run my hands through my hair. I feel gross and in desperate need of a shower. I feel something uncomfortably digging into my back pocket. Great I feel asleep in my clothes from last night ugh. Its my phone. Its 9 am.

I walk over to the bathroom and run some water over my face as I try to remember the events from last night or should I say this morning as I recall getting home just about 3 hours ago. Fuck this is what happens when you get drunk and forget to drink water before falling asleep. A fucking huge headache, a dry throat, and feeling nauseous.

More events start coming back to me as my brain starts slowly functioning again. Fuck fuck fuck I run out of the bathroom and stop at the sight that awaits me in my bedroom. The room is empty but the bed looks like it was slept in. fuck.

For a published author who made it to #9 on the best sellers list it seems as though the only word I am able to come up with at the moment is the utterly redundant and meaningless Fuck. Fuck

I strip down my old wrinkled clothes from yesterday and step into the shower remembering the events of last night as my brain starts to fog out.

I hear Blair puking and realize I can't just stand there. I go into the bathroom and pull her hair off her face and hold it on top of her head for her. She's heaving with saliva and bile dripping down her lips. I quickly grab a towel and wipe her down kneeling next to her. From where I stand she looks exhausted - mentally and physically and for the first time since she left me I realize that maybe I am not the only one whose life sucks.

I move behind her so I can comfortably lean against the wall while holding her hair. I try to comfort her as best as I can despite the awkwardness I feel telling her that everything is going to be ok and not to worry. She continues to vomit for awhile and when it finally lets up she leans back into me. I promptly become aware that I came into the bathroom shirtless and realize that this is the first time since before the Sheppard's divorce party that we are in the same room sharing any kind of physical contact.

This position feels familiar yet very odd. I gently let her hair fall down and lay my right hand on her upper arm stroking softly back and forth. Blair snuggles further into me laying her head on my pectorals. I can imagine what we would look like if people walked in on us right now. Blair leaning back into my chest facing the toilet while I lay between the wall and her serving her majesty as a cushion.

Her hair smells divine overcoming the stale odor of vomit in the air and her skin feels like silk under my fingers. I try to stop _those_ thoughts before they can _really_ start but it is difficult considering I'm taking her in with every breath I take. I feel like she may not even know who I am considering she hasn't said a word to me throughout this entire thing.

She starts heaving and vomiting again and when it lets up for the second time she lays her head down on the tile floor seeming to soak in the coolness it gives off on her sweaty forehead. Her eyes are closed and she seems to be falling asleep. I gently try shaking her but she just brushes my hand away and turns over on her other side away from me.

Exasperated and refusing to let her fall asleep on this dirty bathroom floor, I quickly put on my shirt, walk outside grab a bottle of water from whoever's apartment G is throwing this party is in refrigerator and stride back into the room. The party is now pretty much over with, the only people left are couples making out in the darkest corners of the room minding their own business. Chuck thankfully is nowhere to be seen.

I walk back into the room and come next to Blair who appears sound asleep. I put the bottle of water down on the sink and slowly lift Blair up into my arms cradling her to my chest. I gently put her down onto the sink and try to nudge her awake in order to give her some water. The last thing I want is for her to go into shock due to dehydration. She hesitantly opens up her lips but seems to be drinking the water on instinct. She chugs almost half the bottle in one gulp. As soon as she is done she swiftly leans back into me throwing her arms around my neck enabling me to carry her with more ease.

I carry her outside of the room into the corridor leading to the elevators. No one stops us on our way out as Blair nuzzles my neck in her sleep. We probably look like a couple leaving to get it on.

She starts feeling heavier as we reach the sidewalk outside. I try to shift her weight a little more onto my shoulder and back and less on my arms which causes her to open her mouth and breathe softly onto my neck making my little tiny hair stand on end from goose bumps. I start a mantra of inane thoughts in order to think about anything but my present circumstance.

A cab pulls up surprisingly quickly and I surprisingly manage to open the door without dropping her. I fit both of us in with quite some trouble with her ending up on my lap. Her left leg is crossed under her causing her knee to dig painfully into my nether region. And all the while she remains peacefully unaware of the storm she's causing inside of me. Typical.

In a strained voice I mutter my address to the cabbie. No way am I bringing her to the Empire or to her place. If I did that it would probably be all over Gossip Girl before either of us woke up and furthermore even though I wish I didn't I want to be sure she's ok.

As the cab starts moving, I try to shift her knee without waking her by pushing my hips up into her hoping for gravity to take effect and slide her limbs further down my legs. Unfortunately she seems to have something else in mind as she proceeds to wind both her arms around my neck pulling me nice and close with barely room to breathe between us murmuring something incomprehensible under her breathe into my neck right below my ear. Her perfume is intoxicating me as my lips face the crook of her neck, you know where her shoulder nicely arches into her elongated neck. She is truly exquisite. She is also truly torturous. My hands are closed into tight fists trying to resist putting them anywhere on her in fear of crossing any untoward boundary.

Due to my failed attempt at subtly moving her, her knee is now carrying most of her weight right into me and as much as I don't want to disturb her sleep the pain I am feeling is simply too much to endure for any human male. I try to uncross her knee under her in order for her to have both her legs in the same direction but she responds otherwise to my hand on her thigh by simply opening her legs and straddling me in the cab. Well this is…um…awkward? Yes awkward and affecting me in many particular and mind altering ways. Here's that word again. Fuck. I can feel myself hardening under her weight.

Her already revealing dress is now bunched up high on her thighs and I can spot her lacy lingerie before un-fisting my hands and pulling her dress down as much as I could. I can spot the driver's eyes in his rear view mirror watching us so I shoot him a glare and tell him to keep his eyes on the road.

Being like this with her is comparable to a deserted man being given water after months of desperation. It is giving me a natural high on top of my already drunken state. It's a heady feeling, sending tingles throughout my body as I breathe in her smell and feel the expensive satin of her dress under the tips of my fingers. I close my eyes trying to make the best of what is probably the last time I will ever be in this position with her. I lean back on the fake ripped up leather of the cab's back seat, relaxing, and trying to be the most accommodating pillow one can be.

Outside the window I see we are approaching the the Brooklyn Bridge—a couple of more minutes and this will all be over.

As I start enjoying this moment for what it is I feel cool lips make contact with my heated skin. There is no way that was accidental, right? And then I feel it again. and again. said lips are making their way up my neck and toward my ear _ahn. _Blair. Fuck.

My brain temporarily short circuits as her teeth graze my lobe. She then sucks on it pulling the sensitive skin in between her lips to then soothe it with her tongue. I want to stop her, to tell her everything I have thought of telling her since the beginning of the summer, but when she does that thing with her tongue and shifts just _so_ on my hips any will power evaporates into thin air. Im hers and worst of all she knows it.

She continues down my jaw line, kissing all over my neck, leaving rough red blotches and then soothing it over with her silky tongue. She licks up and down my Adam's apple moves upward over my chin. I wait for her to look up in order to make eye contact with her, to try to know what she is thinking, but she avoids it with and dives right in for the kill. She grabs the back of my head and in one swift movement brings all of me forward into a scorching kiss.

The kiss is all tongue and teeth her tongue battling with mine. I place my hands on her ass pulling her closer to me and feel the heat coming off her center. She is so hot. We keep kissing as her hands skim down my neck to the lapel of my stained shirt as she then continues downward and places her hands on my lower abs, her fingers smartly skimming the accessible skin in between buttons. I once more thrust my hips forward. Her hands skim downward further more as she rises on her knees and stop on the bulge of my jeans. Just as quickly she removes them and settles back down on my lap. What a tease.

Her lips taste just as sweet as I remember and her skin is as delectable as ever as I run my rough lips and chin the length of her neck. I grasp a handful of her hair pulling her head slightly back feeling her shaky pulse on my tongue.

Her hands pull at my shirt and start unbuttoning it from top to bottom slowly revering each new inch of skin revealed. I feel like Im about to burst through my jeans. Fuck as her fingers are slowly working their way down my chest and across my abs the cab driver pulls to an abrupt stop and states loudly "That will be a total of $30 sir"

She quickly pulls back from my lips and for the first time that night we make eye contact. I don't know what to expect but she just slowly smiles at me and leans back in for a full on kiss. As I am about to get lost in it again. the cab driver clears his throat in the most obnoxious of ways. I roll my eyes at him can't believe how big of a cock block he is. I open the cab door with my right hand and slowly move Blair off of me to allow her to get out. I reach into my pocket pull out to twenty dollar bills throw it at him and tell him to keep the change. I get out with my shirt undone, my hair most likely all mussed up, and with Blair waiting for me on the sidewalk.

The air around us has changed. The space between us feels unbridgeable. There is so much to said, so much to be worked out, all these feelings, and all these thoughts to be worked through.

I stop in front of her neither of us saying anything for a moment. She then slowly lifts her hand toward me and I take it without a word. She then starts dragging me towards the loft. We are both stumbling on our way there, and I am clearly drunker than I thought I was.

As we make our way up the compound and find ourselves outside the entrance our physical need for one another seems to have made way for something else. It feels like a moment, like a finality. The only question is the finality of what? I open the door and she immediately heads toward the bathroom leaving me standing there clueless. When she comes out I am sitting on the couch half asleep. Damn do women take forever in the bathroom. She tells me she's going to sleep in my bedroom and I can only nod not knowing what to say. She slowly walks away from me closing the door behind her.

I spend the rest of the night trying to make myself comfortable on the couch and playing over the events in my head. I am fucking clueless. The only thing I know for certain is that the more one knows the more one realizes they know nothing.

I step out of the shower throw on some clean clothes and decide to get some more sleep in my bed. As I lay down in my sheets I can smell her scent on them and in my dreams as I slowly close my eyes.


End file.
